Amazing Colossal Grade: The movie pisses Glenn off, it makes him hack and cough and clutch at his heart
Movie Pain: High - Ugly and hard to sit through
Riffing: Chuckle-Fest at best
Skits: Nice songs, the rest induced mostly smiles
This nasty Ross Hagen flick
is about an "exciting new sport" (One guy drives a motorcycle while
another hangs onto the side and drags his butt on the ground. Ouch, methinks
someone's gonna need a lifetime supply of 'Tucks'! ). 'Hackers got under
Trace's skin and it is mean-spirited. Despite the broad cartoonish characters
that include the maniacal JC, his sidekick Gooch, er, Cooch, and an obnoxious
jokester named 'Crapout'. All the funny names in the world can't mask the ugly
underbelly (rape & murder)
I do get a giggle here and there; the running "Patton/Rommel" gag is cute, and we are given a couple of funny musical numbers during the host segments, including
the heart-warming pabulum, "Only Love (Pads the Film)". But "Hackers" isn't a "tears in the eyes" classic, and the intangibles work against it - meaning, it isn't a happy watch. I want MST to lift my spirits, not to have them thrown in the muck.
Also of note: Cambot gets in
a riff, by adding some ESPN-like graphics during the race.
Host Segments
Intro: Joel tries to get the Bots to bed. Invention:
Slinky's in some form or another for both the SOL & Deep 13. Segment 1: The "Sidehacking" song. Segment 2: Sidehacking terminology. Segment 3: J&TB wear Rommel hats. JC and Cooch
visit via the Hexfield. End: The gang sings
"Only Love Pads the Film" and Frank agrees to push the button. No Stinger - But if I chose one? JC and Rommel:
Drunk, laughing, up close, and making kissy faces.
Notable Riffs
* "Filmed in longtorso vision." - Servo
* "Lets kiss, by hurting others our love grows
stronger." - Joel
* "Hey stop, stop! I need a new girlfriend!"
- Crow as Rommel
* "Even these oil fields seem to remind me of
her... Can't quite put my finger on it..." - Joel as Rommel
* "How's your buddy?" -"That's kinda
personal, isn't it?" - Paisley/Crow
* "I've got to take the fridge to the airport.
You need anything?" - Crow
* "Ah that jelly donut got away from him." -
Crow
* "This is kind of looking like
'Thirtysomething'" - "Yeah, except for those dirty pictures in the
background." - Joel/Crow
* "Uh, that's 'Gooch', sir..." -Tom Servo
* "You ever seen me look so happy?" -
"Yeah, but you didn't know I was watching you." - Luke/Joel
* "You should never drink 10W-30 in the
summer." - Crow
* "Chili peppers burn my gut." - Crow as
Rommel
Riffs Explained
"Why me, why me all the time" - Crow
This was a line said by Eric
Von Zipper in the movie, "Beach Blanket Bingo". Zipper is the leader
of a biker gang who often spoke of himself in the 3rd person.
"Acid Canyon" - Joel
The music was psychedelic
and Ross was walking in a canyon. Beyond that, there really is an "Acid
Canyon". It's a place in New Mexico where a LOT of radioactive chemicals
were released. (Including waste from the Manhattan Project during World War II)
Stuff & Nonsense
* Directed by Goldie Hawn’s
Ex (you can see him as an actor in Hellcats, playing Scorpio). In an interview
Hagan said that Goldie was an extra in the film but I haven't spotted her yet.
* The actress who plays
"Paisley", is Ross's real-life wife.
Available on DVD: Collection
Volume 3
