Thursday, August 14, 2014

319 - War of the Colossal Beast

With Short: Mr. B Natural

First Broadcast - 10 am Saturday, Nov 30th 1991
#31 in Mighty Jack's Top 100
Excellence Level: Platinum
Movie Pain: Low - Glorious goofy Gordon
Riffing: Hilarious
Skits: Chuckle-Fest at best


Col Glen Manning is back and this time he's insane. (Hey, you try living in Mexico with diapers that are in desperate need of a changing, and lets see how well your mind holds up)

I find this remake even funnier than the original. From the brilliant yet disturbing short "Mr. B Natural", which tells the tale of a poor lad who is haunted by visits from an androgynous music sprite. To the, "So Glen is pro Joyce?" riff near the end.

In "Mr. B", I got a kick out of J&TB pain and mental scarring brought about by this short, as well as the voice they give to the nervous Buzz. And I was doubled over when Buzz puts his horn to lips, ready to lay down a mellow solo- and Tom cuts lose with a frantic lick that was played in an earlier scene. Hysterical.

As for Glen Manning: There are literary references (100 Years of Solitude) as well as those that are drawn from music and movies -"Hee-Haw, It's Sam Wainwright"- but "Colossal Beast" is primarily large with one liners and low brow humor. It's like watching the Marx Brothers in action; a character says a line and "wiz-bang" the guys are there with a quick response... "There's no place in civilization for a creature that size" - "So we're sending him to Cleveland" - Maj. Baird/Crow-  and a goofy observation... "Everyone's afraid of the Red Cross!" - Joel. Of course, I'm always happy to hear a Beatles reference. "He blew his mind out in a car".

The host segments are not bad, not great, but all told; this one hit the 50 foot funny bone.

Host Segments 
Intro: Re-naming Mexican American foods Invention: The Mads introduce the "Breakfast Bazoka". Joel has created the "Between Meal Mortar". Segment 1: Tom & Crow debate Mr. B. Segment 2: Glen Manning visits. Segment 3: KTLA and the future. End: Joel bakes bread, Glen reads a letter and Dr. F gives Frank a Thorzine waffle. Stinger: Mr. B. dances with joy.

MST Hour Segments 
Part 1: Jack is doing some knitting because he’s a patron of the arts; he keeps calling the film War “ON” the Colossal Beast, which is cute. In the closing segment, Jack fears too much cheesecake is turning him into the colossal beast - he gets frustrated with his knitting as credits roll. Part 1: Perkins holds a tiny bread truck and gives a hilarious recap (in which he notices a young Pauly Shore). In the closing bit, Jack struggles to get a quarter out of his bread truck.

Notable Riffs
Natural Riffs
* "ENOUGH! What is this, flight of the bubblehead?" - Joel
* "You've got to inspect your horn, boy." - "And wash it every day" - Mr. B/Crow
* "Buzz; this time, try not to make so much noise when you read." - Crow, as Buzz's Mom
* "If only an androgynous man would come and visit meeeee." - Joel as Buzz
* "Knew your father, I did" - Mr. B Natural
* "Oh my god, please say this isn't happening!" - Crow.
* "The best instruments are uniform , every one is exactly like every other of the same kind." - "Just like you and me" - Narrator/Tom Servo
* "Uh, Mister B, what would you know about dignity?" - Joel

War Riffs
* "A whole new way to love the same old crap" - Joel.
* "Glen! Remember these?" - Crow, as Joyce
* "Stay together, cheeks..." - Servo as Maj. Baird
* "Look! It's a big turd with truck parts in it" - Servo as Sgt. Mario
* "Lost in the valley of the shadow of the subplot." - Crow
* "Has anyone seen Glen?" - Joel as Joyce
* "Hi Gretchen, Hi Paul, Hi Keeba" - Crow
* "He's dead and therefore unable to come to the phone." - Servo as some Soldier
* "Oh, it's just part of the American way: turning a neighboring country rich in culture and beauty into a goofy appetizer." - Joel
* "Uh oh -- Glen passed a truck on the highway. I mean, he passed a truck on the highway" - Servo as Sgt. Mario
* "Where's my truck!" - "Here, let me. WHERE'S HIS TRUCK!" - Mr. Swanson/Crow as Sgt Mario
* "We could pump his stomach, but I don't think we'd find your truck" - Crow as Sgt. Mario
* "No man, no matter what his size" - "Is an island?" - Maj. Baird/Joel
* "Sorry to be so long" - "Braggart" - Maj. Baird/Crow
* "It's like really hard Sir, you try it" - Joel as Soldiers
* "Put your clothes on, it's the cops" - Joel as Glen
* "Your brother died a watery death. Well, gotta go" - Crow as Maj. Baird

Riff Explained 
"Beware the dwarf" - Joel
This line comes from the 1978 screwball comedy, Foul Play, which stars Goldie Hawn & Chevy Chase. In the movie; Hawn's date offers this warning to her as his last dying words

"Something new is coming to town and Jose the cop is bringin' it 'round" - Joel
Said during the bread run. This comes from a commercial for "Kellogg's Graham Cracko's" cereal. The actual add went... "Something new is coming to town and George the milkman's bringin' it 'round"

Stuff & Nonsense
* One of the best things about the films of "AIP" were the brilliant posters by Albert Kallis (See the Amazing Colossal Man page for an example). Albert quit the poster biz to become an owner in the, "International House of Pancakes" chain. Bert I. Gordon said that Kallis designed the "IHOP" logo and was payed with ownership in the company.

* That's Merlin (George Milan) from show #1003, playing the part of General Nelson

* Odd - In "Amazing" Glen's fiancé stated that Manning had no living relatives. And yet, in this sequel he has a sister.


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