Saturday, August 23, 2014

621 - The Beast of Yucca Flats

With Shorts: Money Talks & Progress Island USA

First Broadcast - 7 pm Saturday, Jan 21st 1995
#3 in Mighty Jack's Top 100
Excellence Level: Best in Show
Movie Pain: High - Another poorly crafted turd, from softheaded Coleman
Riffing: I laughed so hard I wet 'em!
Skits: Very steady, lots of fun

I really REALLY dislike Coleman Francis. Buuut I love the campy Tor Johnson, so I went into this episode harboring some sliver of hope that I'd have a good time.
Before venturing into the land of Coleman, this experiment gets things off to a rousing start with 2 hysterical shorts. "Money Talks", in which a young man is harangued by Ben Franklin's shadow, and "Progress Island USA", where we are brow beaten into visiting Puerto Ricco, or else!! These take up the first 30 minutes of the show and got me in a good mood, ready to tackle the feature that I knew could be nothing except the manifestation of all that is evil.
Ahhh but the jokes on Francis! Despite C.F's worst efforts, M&tB are on riff fire. From the start they rattle off one zinger after another, and that's no easy task with the meandering plot (About a Russian scientist caught in a nuclear blast) and insipid dialog (Flag on the Moon?) that infests this flick. Having Tor in the movie helps but they successfully hit back at this film on all fronts.
I still really REALLY dislike Coleman Francis, but this was some inspired work from the Best Brains crew.

Host Segments
Intro: Mike wallpapers the SOL and freaks Gypsy out. Segment 1: Debating proposition Deep 13. Segment 2: Crow joins a rowdy party next door and Servo breaks it up. Segment 3: Crow wonders if it's 11:30. Segment 4: A great skit! Crow's film anti preservation society. End: Victory over the movie. Stinger: Tor's rage

Notable Riffs
Money Riffs
* "Even having a huge Mallomar doesn't help." - Crow
* "On behalf of all girls, none of us is going to the dance with you." - Crow
* "Could you get your stomach off my desk please." - Crow
* "That was my darkest vision yet" - Crow
* "Benjamin Franklin was tried in the Eighth Circuit Court on stalking charges - in a minute, the results of that trial." - Mike

Progress Riffs
* "Why, even Aliens from Mars are here" - Crow
* "Complete with giant rolls of toilet paper" - Mike
* "It's just as American in its way of life." - "So you might as well stay where you are." - Narrator/Crow
* "Look, just come here! - Mike as Narrator
* "Then Kiss came to town!" - Crow

Yucca Riffs
* "The concept of 'Wham' is born ..." - Crow
* "These limericks aren't very good." - Mike
* "Coleman Francis: The cinematic poet of parking" - Mike
* "It's more suspenseful when you don't know what's going on." - Crow
* "Marlon Brando arrives for the Larry King interview." - Mike
* "Real, actual dialog" - Crow
* "Oh, she's an attractive man." - Mike
* "Hosanna Superstar..." - Servo
* "Boys; We're leaving" - "We're going to the earwax museum" - Mom/Mike
* "I thought 'Shrub World' would be more fun." - Mike as kids
* "Shoot the film first, ask questions later." - Mike
* "This movie stops at nothing. And stays there." - Servo
* "He's like a lawn jockey" - Mike
* "Joe Dobson headed north and met Jim." - "They married and settled down." - Narrator/Mike
* "I've seen water before, and I'm pretty sure that's water." - Servo as the kids
* "Tor's just mad because someone tore a 'Fruit Loop' off his shirt." - Mike
* "Mom..." "Billy Tried to eat my leg." - Kids/Crow

Riff Explained
"I never said that, it's so funny you think that I would say that..." - Servo
Spoken during the scene with the woman smoking in the car. Tom is doing "Nathan Thurm", a character played by Martin Short in a 1980's Saturday Night Live parody of "60 Minutes". Thurm's a sweaty, chain-smoking lawyer who would say something outlandish and then immediately deny that he had said anything of the sort.

Stuff and Nonsense
* Coleman Francis dubbed in his own voice for the growls and screams of the Beast.

* Larry Alten, who played Sheriff Archer, was also the makeup man. Tor's facial burns were created by wrinkled toilet tissue and powder

Available on DVD: Volume 18

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