Friday, August 29, 2014

1007 - Track of the Moon Beast

First Broadcast - 11 pm Sunday, June 13 1999
#29 in Mighty Jack's Top 100
Excellence Level: Platinum
Movie Pain: Medium - Meandering but Grade-A MST fodder
Riffing: Side Splitting
Skits: Hilarious

I knew it was a good sign when even Pearl gets a laugh out of me; "Mike, Crow, Snack...". She's referring to the opening skit where the robots are using an onion blossomer on everything in sight, including Servo's head! Crow's line, "Plunger, yum" received a boisterous response. So this episode gets off to a great start.

Our movie is about a guy who gets hit in the noggin with a moon rock. And, as often happens when a moon rock hits someone on the skull, he turns into a lizard.

This film is the perfect vehicle for a msting, one that leaves itself open to all kinds of abuse. With Johnny Longbow and his stew, lots of wooden acting from our leading man & lady, a really cheesy looking monster (created by Rick Baker) and a fish lipped guy singing "California Lady"... the boys can't help but lob more than a few zingers.

And the dialog, at least early in the film, teases out more than a few risquè riffs. Add in the bonus of some good film related host segments and you have yourself a top notch episode.

Host Segments
Intro: Crow & Tom are blossoming everything in sight. Segment 1: Mike attempts to escape using a remote-control Bobo. Segment 2: The bots can't wait for Halloween and pull a prank on Mike. Just like in the movie! Segment 3: Mike hosts, The Band That Played "California Lady". A VH1 type of docu-drama. Segment 4: Crow and Tom spy on Mike during bedtime. End: Servo injures a baby satellite, Brain Guy and a brain-exposed Bobo bond. That is, until Pearl steps in. Stinger: Blondie sez: "Moon rocks? Oh, wow!"

Notable Riffs
"Although we've got a lot more air pollution than we used to." - "Since we ate Johnny's stew." - Paul /Mike
"Filmed through chocolate milk." - Crow
"I know what you're thinking." - "I'm boring and my slide show eats.'" - Longbow/Servo
"I want to get some night shots of this area." - "I'll give you a night shot of an area." - Cathy/Crow
"I'd like you to meet a friend of mine." - "Um, could you at least kiss me first?" - Paul/Crow
"I'm going to go forage for tighter pants." - Crow
"JC Penney Hooker Wear; For the casual hooker at work, rest, or play." - Crow
"Some burnt toast is heading for the sun." - Servo
"Oh, thank you for guiding me, or I would've walked in any random direction." - Mike
"Oh no don't touch it, let me do it." - "Words every guy wants to hear." - Kathy/Crow
"All this, and he lives with his mother" - Crow as Kathy
"He stole Robin Gibb's head" - Servo
"Hey, look, behind Longbow, it's Waldo" - Mike
"That outfit started as a baby blanket, then she just added a bra to it." Mike
"Man he's out of shape, drawing back the curtains shouldn't be that much work." - Mike on Paul
"Snuggle up and come with me." - Servo as cop with his arm around Longbow
"You're an anthropologist Johnny, I thought you could..." "Anthroplogize." - Cop/Servo
"Thanks for the stereotyped music." - Crow
"It's a hard room to clash with, but she manages to do it." - Crow
"Aww, look, she's sleeping so pinkfully." - Servo
"It was a little warm in my room." - "So I killed a tent full of old guys." - Paul/Crow
"Of course, that's just an old chubby white sheriff's legend." - Crow
"His condition is so grave that he's confined to the ironing board." - Crow
"Wow! He's transforming into the exact same person" - Mike
"I'm ready to fight Captain Kirk." - Mike
"If I'm going to die, I'm going to die looking like a man." - "In my feety pajamas." - Paul/Crow
"I need a wheat penny and a glock." - Crow as Paul
"Thinking hurts, oww..." - Mike as Kathy
"I feel free" - Crow as Paul
"Things sure are happening over in that direction." - Mike as cops
"Paul is not Paul any more!" - "He's Super Paul!" - Longbow/Crow

Cathy - "That's great stew, what's in it?"
Longbow - "Oh, a lot of things..."
Servo - "Rattlesnake, Velveeta..."
Longbow - "Chicken, corn, green peppers, chili -"sigh"- onions, uh..."
Mike - "Hair..."

Riff Explained
"Got a creepy feeling that this was filmed at the Spahn Ranch" - Servo
The Spahn ranch was an old western film set that Charles Manson and his gang used as a hideout.

"The arrow caused him to Frug." - Crow
The Frug is a rock n' roll dance that was popular in the 50's & 60's. To do the Frug you keep your feet still (for the most part) while you move the hips and swing your arms and maybe throw in a few head bobs for added thrills.

Stuff & Nonsense
* Bill Finger, who helped Bob Kane create Batman and many of his memorable villains from the Joker to the Riddler, was one of the writers on this film and The Green Slime (used in the MST3K pilot/pitch tape).

* The man in the creature costume was Joe Blasco, who did makeup on the MSTed movies "Clonus Horror" and "The Touch Of Satan". Joe also sells his own line of cosmetics.

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