Saturday, August 23, 2014

624 - Samson vs. the Vampire Women

First Broadcast - 7 pm Saturday, March 25 1995
#21 in Mighty Jack's Top 100
Excellence Level: Best in Show
Movie Pain: Low - Hysterical Mexican wrestler actioner
Riffing: I laughed so hard I wet 'em!
Skits: No gut busters, but enjoyable

Frank gets a rousing send-off. Of all the "end of an era" episodes, Mr. Conniff's is the best (Yup, I even liked it more than "Mitchell").

The title says it all, as the movie pits Mexican wrestler, El Santos (Samson), against a bevy of Vampire babes who hassle a gal they have pegged as their future queen. This poorly dubbed flick gets heckled brilliantly: From taunting a drowsy piano player and mocking the professors contradictory dialog, to the sputtering giggles directed at "Samson's" silly getup. I also loved their choice of reference material: Politics (Newt Gingrich), television (The Dean Martin Show), the Marx Brothers "A Night At The Opera" and even Archie comics (Big Ethyl) are drawn from.

host segments are more sentimental than full out funny and tell of TVs Frank being taken into second banana heaven by Torgo (the White). Dr. F even sings a haunting tribute to his former stooge. Trace is pretty great throughout, his performance and comic touches are a delight (as when he actually attempts to eat the soy sauce Frank left him, before giving in to anger).

Host Segments
Intro: A moment of silence. Segment 1: The Mads order Chinese food. M&TB make like the 3 Stooges. Segment 2: Crow receives a message. Segment 3: Torgo takes Frank to second banana heaven. Segment 4: Clay sings "Who Shall I Kill". End: The Bots read their letters to Frank. Forrester gets a visit from Franks ghost. Stinger: A cop and 2 bodies.

Notable Riffs
"Yup, one of Newt's orphanages" - Servo
"Ah yes, the 3 Russian aviators" - Mike (a Marx Brothers reference)
"Now Dean Martin's going to come in and jump on the piano" - Mike
"I wonder if there are vegetarian vampires." - Crow
"Mexico could really use a Martha Stewart." - Crow
"The International Fight-Like-A-Girl Championship." - Crow
"I dedicate this song to Thorazine." - Mike
"Yeah great, you know that thing from Peanuts?" - Servo
"The eczema support group meets in the basement." - Servo
"...But, what's a good way to explain it to you? - Puppet Theater?" - Professor/Mike
"Be sure to stop by tomorrow... then leave immediately." - Crow as the Professor
"It's true, it was a vampire I saw!" - "He said the same thing about a parking violation the other day." Cop/Servo
"We're out of blood, is Pepsi okay?" - Mike
* "We'll stop any attack that they can begin."- "Provided the attack is lame and poorly thought-out... and it's our gram-ma's." - Inspector/Mike
"Miss Tennessee has wandered away from the home." - Crow
"Circus of the network vampires." - Mike
"Wee, it's fun being the eternal damned!" - Crow as Vampire Henchmen
"Hey buddy, take it from a wise old me. Don't go in there." - Crow as the owl
"Can I get a bendy straw?" - Mike
"Goodbye sweet wrestling friend." - Mike

Riff Explained
"With Platformate" - Mike
Said while a slow moving Vampire walks through a cobweb. This line comes from an old Shell ad from the 60's. In it, cars fueled without "Platformate" would be shown running out of gas and sputtering to a stop. Next, a car containing "new Shell with Platformate" would burst through a huge Shell logo next to the stalled car. The commercials were a sham as Platformate was simply a mileage boosting additive common to all gasoline at the time.

Stuff and Nonsense
The name "El Santo" translates into "The Saint". A star in nearly 60 movies and featured in a long running comic book series; El Santo was Rudolfo Guzman Huerta (1918-84). A professional wrestler who never revealed his face, on screen or off, until the end of his career in 1983.

Available on DVD: Volume 24

"Goodbye Frank. And remember, wherever you are, I WILL KILL YOU!" - Dr. Clayton Forrester

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