Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Turkey Volume Guessing Man's Little Known Truths

Salutations citizens! I, Turkey Volume Guessing Man present to you these little known, yet highly useless bits of information from the world of MST3K. Enjoy!


1) Before they were mad scientists, Forrester and Erhardt used to have jobs as "Fruit Inspectors". Source: K16 City On Fire (we also learn that Erhardt once worked for the Pentagon - Thanks Chaotica for that info)

2) TV's Frank used to work at Arbys 323 Castle of Fu Manchu

3) What happened to Dr. Erhardt? He was eaten by a giant spider From a riff in 313 Earth Vs. The Spider

4) There is a Russian version of the show called "Very Incredible Movie Theater 4" k07 Gamera Vs. Zigra

5) Mistaken Identity: 
Joel calls Gypsy Gypsum (her old name) K08 Gamera Vs. Guiron
Joel calls Servo Josh K06 Gamera Vs. Gaos
Joel calls Servo Crow 103 Mad Monster
Joel call Servo Crow in The Crawling Hand - Thanks Forrest for this info
Joel calls Servo Crow Slime People

6) Crow won 2 Nanites at a county fair (They then multiplied into thousands). 801 "Revenge of the Creature"

7) The device the crew uses to see the Nanites was installed by Helmut. Who lived with Crow for 20 years while the rest where pure energy. 801 "Revenge of the Creature"

8) Dizzy Grizzlies, the Nabisco snack shaped like dancing bears, are effective in helping robots through trauma. 912 The Screaming Skull


9) Servo the Smoocher! Episodes where Tom gets or gives a kiss on screen...
* Joel in 2nd segment of K18 Su-Maru
* JC in Sidehackers? (Tom moves up and it sounds like he gives him a quick peck on the nose)
* Creepy Girl (a whole bunch of them!) in "Catalina Caper" - From Forrest
* Tommy Kirk (accidentally) "Catalina Caper"
* Tina Moss in "Catalina Caper (Shesh, what a busy bot!)
* Wormy guy in "Ring of Terror"
* Ross Hagen in Hellcats"
* Nora from "King Dinosaur"
* Reporter during "First Spaceship on Venus"
* Rex Dart and his pal in "Zilla vs Megalon" (Captain Chaotica)
* Daio and the thief in "Zilla vs the Sea Monster (Captain Chaotica)
* Karen, during Gamera vs Barugon
* Itchy in "Gamera vs Gaos"
* Jana in Daddy-O
* Ken (several times). "Fugitive Alien"
* Lee Van Cleef. "It Conquered the World"
* Col. Ubuki. "Mighty Jack"
* Mr. Atari. "Mighty Jack"
* Dr. Takibana. "Mighty Jack"
* Woman in red. "Mighty Jack"
* Zigra Girl (many, many smooches) during "Gamera vs Zigra"
* Grace in the "Unearthly"
* Santa Claus in "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"
* Mariett Hartley (often) AND Gene Hackman in "Space Travelers"
* Ingrid in "Killer Shrews"
* Patient in General Hospital (Manhunt in Space)
* Jessie in General Hospital (The Beatniks) and he tries to smooch Mr. Baylis in the Beatniks but the scene changed.
* Hestia in Fire Maidens... it sounds like he tries to kiss another Maiden as well
* Dr. Bill in General Hospital (Crash of Moons)
* Joel in "Attack of the Eye Creatures"
* Luberia in "Magic Voyage of Sinbad"
* Jan in the Pan during "The Brain That Wouldn't Die"
* An Astronaut in helmet in "12 to the Moon"
* Mike in the "Creeping Terror"
* Gypsy in "Last of the Wild Horses"
* Crow in "Racket Girls"
* Bart Fargo in "Danger! Death Ray!"
* Henry Silva in "Escape 2000" (Right after Crow does it. In fact Crow does a lot of smooching in this episode)
* Diana in "The Undead"
* Andrea in the She Creature
* Nurse in "Terror From The Year 5000"
* Angie in "Strange Creatures" - From Vlad89
* Some old guy talking to William Sylvester during "Devil Doll"
* Mike (grandma kiss) in "Space Children"

10) No Humans allowed? There are 2 episodes where humans were missing from the theater: 816 Prince of Space had one segment when a wormhole brought us Mike as a Robot. In K17 Time of the Apes it was Tom and Crow through the whole show.

11) Gypsy has been voiced by men (Josh Weinstein, Jim Mallon & Patrick Brantseg) except for segment 2 in K13 SST Deathflight where she shows off a new voice provided by Faye Burkeholder. Other Faye highlights...
* She did hair and makeup from 88-92
* She co-wrote (lyrics) the "Godzilla Genealogy Bop" with Kevin Murphy
* She played the recording studio executive in a skit in show 303 Pod People

12) TV Frank's favorite TV show is either the "Dukes of Hazzard". 407 The Killer Shrews or the "First 100 Years" Master Ninja II

13) Servo has a race car he's named "Thunder Cloud". 407 The Killer Shrews

14) When did the scientists go mad? Dr. Larry went mad at a zoo. Dr. Forrester can't quite pin it down. It was either at the Ice Capades. Or Sun Valley, drooling over a picture of Dick Buttons. He became a scientist at Oslo, when he was drunk and woozy. 103 Mad Monster

15) Crow once carried Servo out of the theater (and it sounds like he dropped him too). K10 Cosmic Princess

16) There are roughly 516 Servo's on board the SOL. 1013 Diabolik

17) People who would not agree to let Pearl rule them: Todd Gunderson, Tom Servo, Carl (who received a better offer from the Travelers group) 910 The Final Sacrifice

18) Tom Servo is (or was) color blind and could only see red. 413 Manhunt In Space

19) From Time Chasers we learn that Mike once worked in a cheese factory, played in a band called "Sex Factory" and his brother is named Eddie.

20) Mike & Crow dated the same woman, Ginger. Terror From The Year 5000

21) Yam's are the food Dr. F loves the most on Thanksgiving Turkey Day Host Segments 1991

22) Joel's dream, once he returned to Earth was to challenge 10 time Star Search comedy champ, "Geechy Guy" It, Conquered the World"

23) What Joel actually did was work pyrotechnics for the band "Man or Astro Man" and ran a Hot Fish Stand. Soultaker

24) Tho you don't often see them, Gypsy does have feet Future War and hands Track of the Moonbeast

25) In the Beast of Yuca Flats, Crow is reading the DC comic book "Amethyst" (1983) Issue #3. This was a 12 issue mini-series about a young girl who's able to shift into gemworld, where she becomes a 20 year old princess embroiled in a battle with the evil, Dark Opal.

26) Dr. F was going to send M&TB the Bing Crosby flick, "Holiday Inn". But they got him mad and he sent them the Amazing Transparent Man instead.

27) Is Joel a closet Shatner fan? in "Hercules Unchained" we catch him reading and highlighting William's autobiography.

28) The song playing on the loaner Crow in Quest of the Delta Knights, is "Melissa" by the Allman Brothers.

29) Mike saved(?) the Hubble in the movie. And waaay back in "Women of the Prehistoric Planet", Joel brought in a satellite using what he called, The Exo-Pincers

30) Tom's favorite movie is "Little Fauss and Big Halsey", Crow's is "Kafka's The Castle" and Joel likes "Colossus: The Forbin Project". Master Ninja II

31) TV's Frank really liked "Wild Rebels" and gave it his highest rating, 5 skulls.

32) Crow's Walk-A-Thon sponser was "Walk-A-Thon". Better known as "Walkers At Large Kinetically Altruistic Through Hygiene Or Nowlege" (No K in Knowlege, because then it would be Walk-A-Thok)...

33) Tom's Walk-A-Thon sponser was..."Hi Everyone, Lets Pitch In N' Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right, Eh. Now Then, Hateful Rich Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors D'ouever And Never Does Dishes, Eventually Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neuesburger Tod" or, "Helping Children Through Research and Development". Both come from show #812 Incredibly Strange Creatures...

34) Once on Earth, Gypsy made a fortune with her company "ConGypsCo" (The boys missed out and didn't invest). Diaboik F

35) Tom was a fan of the TV show "Sisters". Alien From L.A.

36) It costs 150 thousand dollars in quarters for a new liver from the Vend-A-Gut. Frank got as far as 125 thousand, 448 dollars and 75 cents before Dr. Forrester made him lose count and he had to start again. Alien From L.A.

37) Despite Crow's ribbing, Tom can't help it, he just thinks strapless evening gowns are neat! Day the Earth Froze

38) Mike's girlfriends: Carla (Brute Man), Ginger (Terror from the Year 5000), Denise (Projected Man) and maybe Nuveena (12 to the Moon). Oh and he might have dated a guy named Steve who died, but we get movie sign before we can hear the whole story (Werewolf).

39) Crow writes a "Lifestyles" column titled "My 2 Cents". Horrors of Spider Island

40) Whenever Clay loses the Mad Scientist competition, he either blows up (twice) or burns down the convention center. 2 of his entries have included the "More Painful Mouse Trap" and the "Chalk Man". Robot vs Aztec Mummy

41) Crow is allergic to coconuts. He announced this during a riff in 306 Time of the Apes - Thanks Gamera for this info 

42) Root Beer gets Magic Voice drunk. 316 Gamera vs Zigra

43) Mike's grandmothers name is Katherine (who was voiced by Mary Jo) Teenage Strangler

44) Mike has a Darth Vader coffee cup Giant Spider Invasion

45) In the fast food skit in Deathstalker, the name tags read as such....
* Servo is Paul
* Crow's reads Mary Jo (very cute)
* And Mike's, well Mike's is hard to read so I asked for some help at the MST3K Discussion Board. It stars off with, "Ask me about our..." and that's where it gets garbled. Veepa provided the answer... "Potato Planks" which was confirmed by Miss Interoceter and gizmonicinstitute2
Thanks to those above as well as Bix Dugan, Hugo, Captain Hygiene and Father Mannix for your help in unraveling this great mystery. 


On page two you will find a listing of Mighty Jack's favorite running gags, that I, Turkey Volume Guessing Man, have compiled for your reading pleasure... ClickHere!