Thursday, August 21, 2014

606 - The Creeping Terror

First Broadcast - 7 pm Saturday, Sept 17 1994
Excellence Level: Silver
Movie Pain: High - Terribly inept production
Riffing: Solid, good humor
Skits: Induced mostly smiles

Just what is it that compels people to crawl inside a rug? That's the fatal illogical flaw in this movie. Now, if the alien had been a sleeping bag...  Ah yes folks, this is the movie with the narrator (who always overstates the obvious) and that slow moving carpet monster: People scream and then wait around for the creature to swallow them -"oooo, scary"- Mike asks, "Did anyone in the 50's ever think of running?"  Heck, even a lazy stroll would have kept these folks from harms way.

"Sigh" - One of the worst movies ever made gets some pretty funny Msting. I was most impressed with the riffing during the scenes at the dance, as well those said while the baby was having his temperature taken. And that big guy trying to float down stream? Classic!

The host segments didn't thrill me. On paper the idea of Mike buying a super stereo and using to play a cheap sounding tune sounds funny, but in execution it sent me to yawnsville. The same with the "Love American Style" bit, it's a very Joel like skit, but takes a Mike turn at the end as it's offered as a biting satire (which really didn't bite). I get the joke but it simply didn't work for me. Other than chuckling over the sight of Clayton's laundry pile (It's all lime green!) the skits were the one downer in an otherwise good experiment

Favorite riff? "Twas Buford killed the beast" - Mike

Host Segments
Intro: Tom's a security guard. Mike has to sign in and out. Segment 1: Frank does laundry; the SOL has a pretentious coffeehouse. Segment 2: Crow raises his flag. Segment 3: Love American Style. Segment 4: Mike's stereo system. End: Gypsy swallows Tom. Frank is punished for messing up the laundry. Stinger: "My God, what is it!"

Servo – “What’s she doing?”
Mike – “Now cough, Honey.”

Notable Riffs
"Go about your marriage, nothing happening here." - Mike
"Hey if you could help me out by climbing in." - Mike as carpet monster
"The first director to realize the dramatic potential of a rectal thermometer." - Mike
"Meanwhile, Opie and his therapist go fishing." - Servo
"What, is that a less dreary existence I see out there?" - Mike
"AAAHH! The creeping newlywed." - Mike
"Even the A-V Club laughs at these guys." - Mike
"Bobby's hopelessly inbred synapses slowly begin to fire." - Mike as the Narrator
"Let the current take you away, SWIM!" - Servo to Gramps
"If my deepest, darkest despair had choreography, this would be it." - Servo
"It's a federal law to keep your monster in a car seat." - Servo
"Okay, guys. Don't frag me again." - Servo as Col. Caldwell
"Sorry, folks. Should've told you about the subplot. It even caught me, the narrator, off guard." - Mike
"There are times when a man needs the touch of a llama." - Crow as Dr. Bradford
"Her hinder is out of control!" - "It's got a mind of its own!" - Servo/Crow
"You see, when a monster and a small car love each other very much." - Mike
"This might be rather cynical on my part, but I put it to you that that is the same monster." - Crow
"You can see why the British invasion was so easy!" - Mike

Riff Explained
"Apparently Dan Blocker had been there" - Mike
Dan Blocker played Hoss Cartwright on the hit TV show "Bonanza". He died in 1972 from a blood clot in his lung

Stuff and Nonsense
In a classic Homer Simpson's moment... Legend has it that the original sound track was lost when director Art J. Nelson tripped over something at Chambers Beach, causing him to spill the sound equipment into its icy depths. D-OH! Low on cash, Nelson re-recorded the story as narration.

With angry investors threatening lawsuits (They were promised a big budget production). Art (who played Martin Gordon under the name, Vic Savage) took off on a promotional tour with his girlfriend Shannon O'Neil (who played his wife Brett in the flick) and never looked back. He hasn't been seen since.

Available on DVD: Collection Volume 1

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