Friday, August 22, 2014

608 - Code Name Diamond Head

With Short: A Day at the Fair

First Broadcast - 7 pm Saturday, Oct 1st 1994
Excellence Level: Bronze
Movie Pain: High - Spies shouldn't be boring
Riffing: Choppy but decent enough
Skits: Alternate Mike's are hilarious, the Mads are me'h

Fairs must really inspire the Brains, because much like "Johnny at the Fair" and "Century 21, Calling", "A Day at the Fair" is pure gold. From comments on angry cows (who lost a blue ribbon to a girl!?) to responses that simply beg for a drummers rim-shot; as when the narrator calls farmer Olson's corn, "...the very finest ears". And Servo answers back -"The small of his neck is nice too"-

Most of the skits are a wonder as well, and concern Magic Voice and Cambot teaching Crow and Tom a few valuable lessons. "This Boy's Life" is one of my favorite films and Mikes turn as DeNiro's Dwight (In Boy Scout garb) is perfect - "I know a thing or two about a thing or two."Mike later spouts DeNiro speak when dressed as the Frugal Gourmet - he gets irritated with Gypsy and tells her to "Shut her pie-hole".

Then there's the bland, forgettable film. It's another one of those failed TV pilots from the 70's. And though it doesn't look like it, the show is set in Hawaii (the guys often tease the location shots because the movie fails to utilize the beauty of the islands). The movie features that guy who played "Lovejoy" (From the A&E Mysteries) as the villain (Code name: Tree). And has a white haired dude (Code name: Aunt Mary) who's the boss of our main spy guy, Code name: Dingleberry, er... Diamond Head!

Despite the cute code names it's easy to see why this thing failed. "Diamond Head" is a whole lot of nothing. It's a secret agent thriller with no intrigue, no tension, no charismatic characters (except for Zulu). I forgot what I'd seen 5 minutes after it had passed from the screen. It's a good thing M&TBs are there to offer up some cute quips. While the riffing is a bit choppy here and I wouldn't rank it among their top level episodes, there are goodies to be had (As when the guys are talking casually and Zulu's head suddenly pops on screen and scares the living daylights out of them). Plus the trio sounds upbeat and in a good mood.

Host Segments
Intro: Can you smell that smell? The SOL is a mess. Segment 1: Frank and Forrester try and top one another in cleanliness. Segment 2: The bots don't appreciate Mike so Magic Voice and Cambot teach 'em a lesson. By showing them how it would be if Dwight from "This Boys Life" was in charge. Segment 3: Lesson #2. Mike as the lead singer of the Crash Test Dummies. Segment 4: And finally, Mike as the Frugal Gourmet. End: Mike enjoys a nice Hawaiian Punch, while Dr. F and Frank bathe. Stinger: Odd screeching girl points out a dead body.

Notable Riffs
Fair Riffs
"No one can explain why father is 85" - Mike
"Good thing methane rises" - Crow
"Later, these moths turn up in the mouths of Bobs victims" - Crow
"It's time for lunch" - "Let's go eat something gray" - Narrator/Mike as Mr. Olson
"This is a jet plane!" - "Where does the corn go?" - Narrator/Crow as Bob
"Well the champion blue ribbon goes to a girl" - "The cows are furious" - Narrator/Crow

Diamond Riffs
"Ah, Mister Jesus, you have a nasty habit of surviving!" - Crow
"Espionage is such a small community. It's quite like a little family, really" - "In that we all drink and hurt each other." - Tree/Mike
"She's driving, so, technically, she's an accessory to her own kidnapping." - Mike
"This is so almost Mitchell." - "About fifty pounds short of Mitchell." - Servo/Crow
"She'll look like a game of ring-toss before the night is over" - Crow
"Ah! He's got a Jackie Mason body" - Mike on Zulu
"This is a song all about how he hates Jack Lord" - Mike
"Mrs. Bates wants her hair back" - Servo
"Admiral Sid Dithers" - Mike
"When your proud of your crack and it shows" - Crow
"Code name: Diamond head cold" - Crow
"The good guys in this movie aren't very good" - Mike
"Don't you sass your Aunt Mary!" - Mike
"He's got a figure like Marcia Brady" - Crow
"I didn't know you could cook" - " didn't know you could eat" - woman/Crow as Diamond Head
"Huh, they rounded up every Jimmy Buffet fan on the island" - Mike

Riff Explained
"When's Dave Del Dotto come out?" - Servo
Spoken after Zulu performs his catchy Hawaiian song. From Board member KennethMorgan: Dave Del Dotto made Hawaii-based informercials for his financial advice years ago. According to Wikipedia, he later got into some trouble with the law and left that business.

Stuff and Nonsense
If your gonna set a crime show in Hawaii, you draw from the long running hit "Hawaii Five-O". Zulu and Dr. Ping are both 5-O vets. And of course you gotta bring in the master... composer Morton Stevens. Who created one of the most recognizable television tunes of all time with his "Hawaii Five-O" theme song. It goes without saying that Morton's work here, wasn't one of his career highlights

Available on DVD: Volume 23

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