Friday, August 22, 2014

612 - Starfighters

First Broadcast - 7 pm Saturday, Oct 29th 1994
#34 in Mighty Jack's Top 100
Excellence Level: Platinum
Movie Pain: High - 2 minutes of story stretched out for hours!
Riffing: Hilarious
Skits: Brilliant! I laughed so hard I wet 'em!


The most sexually charged movie MST has ever done! I never knew that footage of jet fighters could be so naughty. Filled to the brim with frequent scenes of planes taking off and refueling and landing and refueling and bombing rectangles and refueling. What "Lost Continent" was to rock climbing, "The Starfighters" is to flight. So be prepared to drift into a catatonic state.
     
Due to the static nature of the film, this is a toughie to riff on and required premium effort from the writing staff. So it's pretty impressive that when they do fire with the funny, they generally strike their targets with pinpoint accuracy. From the variety of quips on the redundant refueling, to rollicking jests' on "Poopie Suits".
     
Toss in the superb skits where we witness Crow's frustrated attempts to log onto the information super highway, observe a bold commercial for Ricochet BBQ sauce and thrill to the wonderful Servo Chorus - and "Starfighters", while not A+ perfect, still offers up ample laughs.

Host Segments
Intro: Crow's Internet problems begin. Segment 1: The Mads have cranial ports, but are upstaged by Mike's BOLD Barbecue sauce. Segment 2: Tech support finally answers Crow's call, but he's busy refueling. Segment 3: Servo and Crow debrief Mike. Segment 4: United Servo Academy Men's Chorus. End: Crow's on the net and plays a game. Letters, fun with cranial ports. Stinger: Hubby takes an elbow.


Notable Riffs
* "There's already too much flying in this movie" - Mike
* "Yeah, pulling over to the other plane, they have chocolate gas, Mmmm" - Servo
* "And as the seasons change the refueling continues!" - Mike
* "Bob Dornan, wild at heart." - Mike
* "Did you know flying a plane is like making love." - Uh, you have to pay?" - Colonel Hunt/Crow
* "Geez, he broke the face barrier." - Servo
* "Is your face odd? Misshapen? Join the Air Force" - Mike
* "Found him, he was under a pile of blankets in my room." - Servo
* "It took you two minutes to hook up and that's two minutes too long" - "It should have been none minutes!" - Major Stevens/Mike
* "Alright Dave why don't cha get out of that wig and into your uniform" - Crow
* "This is the probe that is used for refueling" - "Go ahead and lick it" - Major/Crow
* "Oh, it was pretty rough, man, I had to eat a lizard and drink my urine" - "You were only here for ten minutes" - Mike/Servo
* "Sure, you buy a jet, but then you have to put in a long driveway." - Crow
* "Devo to the rescue" - Crow
* "Take a long second and get used to this face!" - Crow"
* "Woah, he's got a scorched face policy." - Mike
* "Yeah, the wife is going to be awful glad to see the me." - " We're going to have the sex.'" - Servo/Crow
* "It's the new Air Force goofy bomb. By Whamo." - Servo
* "George? We're suppose to go to 'Larry' Air Force base" - Servo
* "His forehead has been clear cut" - Mike

Riff Explained
"Ah, Cristo's latest instala.. oh good" - Crow
Cristo is an artist best known for Wrapping buildings and other landmarks with plastic and fabric sheets.

"J'accuse!" - Servo
Said when a pilot is admonished. "J'accuse" is the title of an open letter published in 1898 by French journalist & novelist, Emile Zola. It was written in defense of Alfred Dreyfus, an army official who was wrongly convicted of treason.

Stuff & Nonsense
The lead actor in this flick is Bob Dornan, a former congressman from California. B-1 Bob is the Nephew of Jack Haley (The Tin Man in the "Wizard of Oz")



Available on DVD: Collection Volume 12

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