Thursday, August 14, 2014

312 Gamera vs Guiron

First Broadcast - 10 am Saturday, Sept 7th 1991
#33 in Mighty Jack's Top 100
Excellence Level: Platinum
Movie Pain: Low - It's so goofy it's a riot
Riffing: Hilarious
Skits: Wildly Funny


The most absurd Gamera movie of all time has 2 boys -Tom and the traffic accident obsessed Akio- stepping aboard an empty spaceship which wisks them off to a "star". On this star (It's a planet!) they discover a couple of brain eating space babes and their pet, the knife headed Guiron (A vicious little monster who laughs demonically while carving up his victims).

Gawd I love this movie! There is so much delightful goofiness -from the halting dubbed voices (they are a laugh riot) to the cop known as "Cornjob"- that one could question why Joel and the Bots needed to cover this movie? What could they possibly add?

How about some absurdity of their own... Nonsensical songs about bicycles and turtle meat. Riffs which mock the mind numbing plot and stilted dialog. Plus host segments which celebrate the silly with magic, music and a pitch perfect Richard Burton retrospective. And least I forget, some of the biggest laughs are inspired by the little girl. The guys were in top form for this one. In my opinion, this is the best Gamera related experiment in the series.

Host Segments
Intro: Servo & Crow compare school lunches. Invention: The Mads display their "Racy Rorschach's. Joel shows his collapsible garbage can. Segment 1: The guys sing the Gamera song. Segment 2: Joel's a magician and saws Crow in half. Segment 3: The SOL presents "The Life of Richard Burton". End: More of the Gamera song with Michael Feinstein. Stinger: "What a monster"

MST Hour Segments
Part 1: The host pops up on screen wearing Clayton's green jacket and gives his intro. In segment 2 Jack speaks of his fear of being eaten as he holds a Gamera toy. Credits spin and it looks like the host kisses the toy and later treats it like a pet. Part 2: Jack cuts himself on a Guiron steak knife (which Tom wore in a host seg) We then get a hilarious overview of the first half of the movie. In seg 2, Jack fiddles around with some Gamera based toys, and plays baseball with a crewmember during the credits.

Notable Riffs
* "Almost all of the monsters had their haircuts done that way back then." - Joel
* "Cornjob??" - Joel
* "Hey, there's half a worm in here!" - Crow as Akio
* "I saw Gamera kissing Santa Claus." - Joel as Scientist
* "Mind if I smell your daughter?" - Crow
* "Massive Babe-age" - Joel as Tom
* "Mmmm... Donuts and gray-water" - Crow
* "My mother's donuts are a saint" - Crow as Tom
* "Uh, why are you rotating the biscuit-holder?" - Crow
* "Why do you have that glazed look on your face?" - Servo as Tom
* "You know, even though they tried to eat our brains, you gotta admit it's kinda fun here!" - Joel as Tom
* "I'll show her, I'm gonna grow up to break up the Beatles!" - Crow as little girl
* "Quick, in the porta-potty!" - Joel
* "Help I'm being whipped into housewares." - Joel
* "Lets go to the Earth together." - "We'll have the hottest Prom dates of all." - Kids/Joel
* "What's his obsession with traffic accidents!" - Crow
* "Those girls... were canibals." - "They ate my hair?" - Tom/Joel as Akio
* "When the whip comes down, you'll see who rules you twisted old fruit" - Joel as little girl
* "What a kiss up, cripes!" - Joel
* "Boy, Gamera's gonna need an emissions test, pronto." - Joel

Riff Explained 
"Okay what's the password, Swordfish?" - Joel
References the 1932 Marx Brothers romp "Horse Feathers", in which Groucho tries to enter a speakeasy by uttering the password "swordfish."

"Geez you gotta long skull, you kinda look like Henry" - Joel
"Henry" was a comic strip created by Carl Anderson in 1932. The title character was a kid with a long bald skull who never spoke.

Stuff & Nonsense
* The part of Flobella was played by Reiko Kasahara. Reiko had parts in Gaos (Sumiko) as well as Zigra (Henry's sister). She can also be seen in the "Lone Wolf & Cub: Baby Cart" series. She was Ogami's murdered wife, Azami.

* With no time or money, the film makers couldn't create the monster that was originally going to be sliced and diced by Guiron. So they spray painted Gaos silver, added the word "space" to the front of his name and chopped him up instead.

* Watch closely: Crow loses an arm, twice! And Joel has to pop 'em back on.



Available on DVD: Volume 21


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