Friday, August 15, 2014

324 - Master Ninja II

First Broadcast - 10 am Saturday, Jan 25 1992
#53 in Mighty Jack's Top 100
Excellence Level: Gold
Movie Pain: Low - More made for TV silliness
Riffing: Wildly funny, very steady
Skits: Chuckle-Fest at best

Van-Mates, Max Keller (Timothy Van Patten), John McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) and their trusty gerbil help Crystal Bernard -as Norma Rae- set up a Union. And later, with the help of George "James Bond" Lazenby, save a kidnapped senator's daughter from David McCallum.

I felt that the first episode in this experiment was the better of the two. Quips about the Master jumping the gun with that "blowfish poison" and noticing that a thug looks remarkably like "Dave Lennox", kept me rolling with laughter.

The second half has it's moments as well -Servo spots Brian Jones in a pool & quotes Beatles lyrics (The "Hobnail boots" line comes from the song "Happiness is a Warm Gun") and Trace's nasal 'Van Patten' imitation is a gas. Despite my apathy for the skits I enjoyed this collection of Ninja tales and actually prefer it over Master Ninja I.

Host Segments
Intro: Improv on the SOL. Invention: Frank tries out the Conveyor Belt Buffet. J&TB demonstrate Gerbilsphere II. Segment 1: The bots and their cool vans. Segment 2: Crow has Van Patten doing General Patton. Segment 3: Servo: Detectives and their pets. End: Dressing up a Van Cleef doll. Frank loves Monte Markham. Stinger: Lee fondles a gerbil.

Notable Riffs
"I can't believe you" - "I can't understand you" - Max/Servo
"Damn, I just injected him with blowfish poison" - Crow as Cleef
"Besides I took shuriken wheel in the whipper once" - Joel as Cleef
"Oh excellent, Master dipstick" - Joel
"I am the walrus. Uh, I think" - Crow as plant manager
"You're a wry wit" - Joel as Carrie
"Uh Oh it's Dave Lennox" - "Looks like Annie Lennox" - Servo/Crow
"I know that this must sound real crazy to y'all" - "But I eat light bulbs" - Carrie/Joel
"You know you're boring when you're boring a Van Patten" - Joel
"So lets see a show of hands" - "I lost my hand in a fish chopper" - Carrie/Crow
"He's speaking in tongues" - Crow on Max
"They varnished my home" - Joel as Carrie
*" It's the same technique that can allow a Zulu warrior to chase a running gazelle for 50 miles..." - "On a pogo stick" - Van Cleef/Joel
"Nothing worse than a cornered Van Patten" - Crow
"Don't forget to have you're Ninja spayed" - Joel
"I stopped believing in causes" - "Now I just believe in effects" - McCallum/Joel
"She looks like Skellitor. Shellytor!"- Crow
"Bruce Lee Presson Nails" - Joel
"Oh Dave, Shaggy wants his beard back" - Joel
"Microsoft service can you hold for an hour!" - Servo

Riff Explained 
"Terry Brown's coming up on the corner." - "And there's Linda Ronstadt behind him on roller skates!" - Track Announcer/Crow
Jerry Brown was the Governor of California from 1975-83. Brown ran for President in 1976, 80 & 92 and he used to date singer Linda Ronstadt... who wore roller skates on the cover of her album "Living In The USA" (1978).

"Jim Fixx, Ahggg" - Servo
Said as Max is running: Jim Fixx was the author of the best selling "Complete Book of Running," which started the jogging craze of the 1970s. Ironically, he died in 1984 from a heart attack... while jogging.

Stuff and Nonsense 
Timothy Van Patten has moved on to better things... behind the camera (please, stay there Tim). He's won a few awards as a director on shows like "Sex In The City" and "The Sopranos".

Available on DVD: Volume 20

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